Drop Dead, Gorgeous
by Belladonna Andromeda
Summary: ItaNaruSasu. FemSasu. Naruto, who lost almost everything after a nasty rumor, travels to Japan to meet up with a penpal who secures a job for him at the Uchiha House of Fashion. There he meets the Uchiha siblings...
1. Chapter 1

Name – Drop Dead, Gorgeous

Genre – Romance/Humor

Warnings – Bi, Yaoi, Het, Fem-Sasu, Swearing

Style – AU

Main Pairing(s) – ItaNaruSasu

Summary – Naruto, who lost almost everything after a nasty rumor, travels to Japan to meet up with a penpal who secures a job for him at the Uchiha House of Fashion.

000

Sakura was used to being exhausted. At least, that's what she told herself as she dragged her tired body into a cafe and over to a table. She mumbled her order the waitress, praying she wouldn't pass out.

After making sure she wasn't a zombie, the waitress went to get her coffee, nearly colliding with a tall blond that had just burst through the door.

Sakura groaned, her headache increasing as the blond loudly apologized and took a seat at the table right in front of her. She glared at him, but flinched when he responded with a bright smile that made her realize just how handsome he was.

"Rough day?" He asked with a sympathetic smile. "Sorry 'bout that. I didn't mean to bother you or anything."

Sakura simply nodded, stunned at how her negativity had seemingly bounced off of him. He blinked at her. She blinked back which actually helped to clear her vision.

"Naruto?" She forced herself to smile, "How have you been?"

"Sakura?" He said incredulously. Those magnificent eyes growing large and so bright that it made her blink.

The blond's name was Uzumaki Naruto. They had been penpals for little over two years. And since Sakura started working at UHF, he had become her only friend. So he was off limits. He's the first good-looking guy to smile at her since forever and she can't have him.

_Fantastic_.

"I'm hanging in there."

"Hmm?" Sakura murmured. "This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with you wanting to meet me so suddenly?"

Naruto put on an innocent face. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, please. You really think I didn't notice?" Sakura rolled her eyes. "For two months, your e-mails became shorter, more abrubt. It took longer for you to reply and you didn't call like you said you would."

Naruto's smile faltered and for a moment Sakura was worried that she might have said something she shouldn't have. "Yeah, you're right. There is something."

"What? What happened? Are you alright?"

Naruto's handsome face was suddenly drained of its enthusiastic energy. "Remember that girl I told you about?"

"Yes, what happened? You broke up?" She said, trying not to sound happy (_he's off limits, remember!_).

"Yeah. I caught her selling some of my reports and photos to other companies."

Sakura gasped. "She _didn't_."

Naruto gave a dry laugh. "And that's not even the worst part. After I broke up with her she started spreading the rumor that my love for animals is beyond friendly, if you know what I mean, and that's why _she_ broke up with _me_."

Sakura choked on her coffee. "She told everyone you were a _zoophile_?"

Naruto glared at her. "I'm _not_ a zoophile!"

"I know you're not." Sakura snapped back. "But... people actually believed her? For real?"

"I know, right." Naruto hissed, angrily snatching his sake from the waitress. The woman huffed and strutted away, mumbling insults under her breath. "And then she had the nerve to sue me for putting her through 'traumatic experiences' or some shit. The bitch reaped thousands of dollars from me on top of everything!"

Sakura shook her head. She was going to put in one of her own insults, but decided to let Naruto blow some steam. Besides, she was too tired to be fuming. She was surprised she had enough energy to _care_.

"And because of her I lost my contract with National Geographic and nobody will hire me anymore." Naruto finished. "Fuck, and now I'm left with a building debt, a busted ego and a few friends short, wondering what on earth I had ever seen in her. She wasn't even that pretty."

"A few friends short?" That caught Sakura's attention.

"Well, they weren't really friends if they believed the rumor. They would know better. Gaara and Kiba are the only ones who backed me up from the beginning at risk of losing their own jobs."

"So you're here to cool down a bit." Sakura finished for him. "Get away from the people who're accusing you of being something you're not."

"And to find a job." Naruto said. Spotting the look on her face, he added, "I was hoping you would be able to help me with that."

"Naruto," Sakura began slowly, "I work in the fashion industry."

Naruto nodded. "I know." He replied as if she'd told him not all roses were red.

Sakura fought against the urge to shriek at Naruto's obliviousness. How could he not realize he was asking her to organize his funeral.

"What do you know about fashion?" She said, after calming down.

Naruto frowned. He looked offended. "More than you think I do."

Sakura's expression was still sceptical as she subtly looked at his faded blue T-shirt, his torn jeans and orange-black sneakers. She snorted, immediately thinking how her boss would have a field day destroying everything that kept Uzumaki Naruto sane.

But then she caught a glimpse of desperation in his eyes and she found herself torn. She knew Naruto was proud, maybe even a little too proud. Having to ask for help was probably one of the most difficult things he'd ever done.

She sighed, willing herself to look away from those damned puppy eyes. "I can arrange an interview for you, but you'll have to do the rest yourself."

"I know how a job interview work-" Naruto paused. Then he launched forwards unexpectedly and pulled Sakura into a tight bear hug. "Oh, you utter beauty, you. Thank you!"

"Don't thank me just yet." Sakura managed to gasp. (_Off limits! He's off limits, damnit!_).

Naruto pulled back and reseated himself, but his flashlight grin didn't disapear. "Yeah, I know. Don't cheer until I get the job."

Sakura giggled nervously. "Yeah, you might take into consideration that you're going to regret asking me for help."

Naruto stopped bouncing in his seat. "Why?"

Sakura remained silent for a while, wondering wether she should tell him or not, before she blurted out, "Sasuke."

Naruto blinked, "Come again?"

Sakura bit her lip. "Sasuke." She shook her head and changed the subject as if she had said too much and Naruto momentarily wondered if there might be yakuza involved. "How much do you know about the Uchiha Fashion House? Be honest."

Naruto looked suspiciously at her, but decided to ignore the odd moment. He scrunched up his face in thought, "Uh, I know that it's one of the biggest influences in the fashion world."

"The Uchiha House of Fashion is _the_ biggest influence, Naruto. _The_ biggest." Sakura hissed. "They have every single corner of the fashion world covered. Magazines, models, runways, designers, icons, muses – everything. Name it, they own it."

"Right." Naruto squeaked, slightly frightened. "So, I'm going to have to know about all of that before-"

"No, don't be silly. Even if you had worked in fashion you're entire life you'll still be considered a rookie in their eyes." Sakura rambled. "You're going to start out as Sasuke's assistant regardless."

"Okay." Naruto replied slowly, "So when's the interview?"

"If you're lucky I can get you for tomorrow. I have access to Sasuke's schedule and tomorrow's a pretty relaxing day-" A ringtone interrupted her. Naruto's eyed widened in disbelief when Sakura instantly began searching frantically through her expensive, designer bag.

"Uhm, are you alright, Sakura?"

"No!" She shrieked, making him jump. "I know that ringtone! It's Sasuke! If I don't pick up soon-" She fumbled with her pink cell phone before answering. "Hello, Sasuke, what can I do for you?"

Naruto listened intently. He raised his eyebrow when Sakura's eyes turned to him.

"B-but Sasuke, don't you think Neji is more suited for the task? And it is my free day..." Sakura's face fell. "She hung up on me. Again."

"She does that a lot?" Naruto asked, curious.

Sakura's expression was enough of an answer. "Well, at least I can talk to her about you and hopefully convince her to give you a chance."

Naruto nodded distactedly. "Is she pretty?"

Sakura froze. The tension in the air returned. "Yeah, she is." Sakura whispered finally. "Extremely pretty."

"But?" Naruto pressed.

Sakura looked like she was struggling with herself again. "She's a very... complicating person."

"How complicating?" Sakura glared at him... Okay... "What did she want?"

"The impossible. As usual."

"She sounds... uhm, difficult?"

Sakura laughed bitterly. "You have no idea."

000


	2. Chapter 2

Name – Drop Dead, Gorgeous

Genre – Romance/Humor

Warnings – Bi, Yaoi, Het, Fem-Sasu, Swearing

Style – AU

Main Pairing(s) – ItaNaruSasu

Summary – Naruto, who lost almost everything after a nasty rumor, travels to Japan to meet up with a penpal who secures a job for him at the Uchiha House of Fashion.

000

When Naruto rang the doorbell to Sakura's apartment the next day, nearly jumping with anticipation over his job interview, the last thing he expected was Sakura shrieking at the sight of him.

"_What are you wearing?_" She gaped at him in horror as if he were covered in trash.

"Uh." Naruto looked down at himself. Orange T-shirt, black jeans, sneakers. "Clothes?"

"You can't wear that! Don't you have a suit?"

"I didn't realize I would need one." Naruto flinched when Sakura screamed again.

"Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Sasuke will definitely not approve of that." Sakura paused. "Neji!" She shouted in his face.

Naruto jumped back in surprise. "What?"

"Neji always has extra suits in his office for emergencies. You can borrow one from him. In the meantime- here." She threw a pink mink coat at him.

"This had better not be real fur." Naruto mumbled.

"It's not. Don't worry. Sasuke's worse than you about things like that." Sakura said in one breath as she dug through her closet trying to find a pair of shoes that matched the rest of her outfit.

"Really? So she likes animals?"

Sakura snorted. "Are you kidding me? She likes animals better than people."

"Oh?" Naruto smiled. "Well, that's good. Maybe we'll get along after all."

Sakura rolled her eyes as she put on her Chanel pumps, packed her Prada bag and stacked her papers seemingly all at the same time.

"Yeah, you two will be best friends for sure." She said sarcastically. "What are you waiting for, put the coat on."

Naruto blanched. "You want me to _wear_ this?"

"Yes. Now hurry up before we're late."

000

"Get out of the car!" Sakura hissed for the seventh time.

"No. There is no way I'm going to walk around in a _pink coat_ in front of all those people."

"They've seen stranger things walk around, believe me."

"Oh? Like what? A three-headed panda doing breakdance?" Naruto said sulkily, as he cautiously stepped out of the car.

While he tried to make himself invisible he began to realize that, indeed, no one was looking at him funny. But that only succeeded in making him suspicious.

"C'mon, hurry up. Sasuke will arrive any minute." Sakura said, already standing in front of the giant rotating door.

Naruto quickly followed, wanting to get out of the pink coat as soon as possible. Once he was within reach Sakura grabbed him by the arm and dragged him across the grand hall, eyes darting left and right as if Naruto was a bomb she was attempting to smuggle into the White House.

Naruto gaped at the expensive enterior of the building. Designer heels clicked on dark beige marble floors. The walls were exquisite – apple wood with figurines carved into some of the panels ranging in cultural beauty from Grecian to Native American.

Looking back at the exit, Naruto gawked at the giant wooden figures of Izanagi and Izanami. He continued to admire paintings and statues of both historical and mythological people, showcases that displayed iconic attires such as Victorian dresses, Egyptian robes and Persian jewels.

Naruto's head spun circles as he tried to take it all in. He had completely expected the inside to be as modern as the outside. He had never imagined the Uchiha House of Fashion to show off such respect to different cultures and timelines, for the ones had who paved the road to fashion long before they were born.

He looked up and was momentarily dumbstruck.

The ceiling was build that like of a chapel. An intricate design of beams and columns. The center was painted. A single, gigantic flower that had more colors than Naruto could count.

The urge to photograph was overwhelming.

Even the people were breathtaking. It was almost as if he had entered the rendevouz point of every highlight in fashion from every timeline and culture known to man.

Men and women of all ages, each possessing such sophisticated elegance that for a second Naruto thought he was staring at royalty, were not only dressed in Chanel, but togas and kimonos, corsets and hooped skirts, elaborate headdresses that Naruto thought were only worn by showgirls nowadays.

"Wow..." Naruto finally breathed. "This place is amazing."

"That's right." Sakura said. "Take it all in. In a few hours this place will lose all its charm and become your personal hell."

Naruto frowned at her disbelievingly. "Never." He said, amazed at how Sakura could act so composed while being surrounded by so much beauty. "I reeeeeally want to take some pictures of this place later."

"You do that."

She led Naruto through the massive hall and several, equally stunning, corridors. Unlike the grand hall where everything collided in an explosion of pure magic, each corridor seemed to have a theme.

"Uh, are we lost?" Naruto asked carefully as Sakura dragged him into the seventh corridor within ten minutes.

"No!" Sakura said angrily. "Argh! Yes, well, sort of. Neji's office moved and I have no idea where to."

"Why don't you just call him?"

Sakura froze. "I am such an idiot." She muttered, shaking her head at her own stupidity as she pulled out her phone.

"It's stress. You're overworked. You can't think straight." Naruto said, trying to comfort her and calm her down. "Don't worry. It happens to the best of us."

Sakura gave him a weak smile. "Thanks, Naruto. It's been such a long week. You have no idea. Since Neji moved, half of the things he used to arrange for Sasuke have been dumped on me. Because he's in charge of decorating the new 11th corridor-" She interrupted herself, a frown settling on her face. "I am _such_ an _idiot_!" She repeated. "C'mon!"

Naruto decided not to ask as he was once again dragged throughout corridor after magnificent corridor until they were blocked by an elderly man water-painting flowers onto a silk sheet that had been glued masterfully to the door.

"Excuse me, we have to go through here." Sakura said. The man blinked at them. "We need to see Neji."

The man gave them a sour look before standing up and carefully moving the door without messing up his work so that Sakura and Naruto could go through.

When they entered the corridor Sakura seemed to know exactly where she was. She didn't knock before barging in, pulling Naruto in after her before he could take a good look around.

"Neji!"

A tall, handsome man with long hair, who looked like he should've been walking the runway instead of sitting behind a desk, raised a subtly plucked eyebrow as Sakura. On his desk, among the mayhem of paperwork, lay copies of various Chinese artworks.

"You better have a good reason for this, Sakura. I'm two days behind schedule and Sasuke's having a fit because of it."

Sakura opened her mouth to apologize before the sentence registered. "So _you're_ the reason she was in such a bad mood yesterday."

Neji glowered. "It's. Not. My. Fault! She rejected _all_ of my original sketches. I had to start from _scratch_. Then she finally picks one that she liked only to come in three days later, _after_ I had ordered everything and half the corridor was already torn down for redecoration, deciding she wanted it to be based on Chinese water paint!"

Sakura's anger vanished. She gave him a sympathetic look. "Did you call Itachi? He can calm her down."

"Yes, I did. He told me he didn't have time to deal with her and hung up on me." Neji grumbled. He glanced at Naruto with pearl eyes, finally realizing he was there. The corners of his mouth quirking upwards when his eyes landed on the orange sneakers peeking out of the pink coat.

Neji snorted.

Naruto paled in mortification. He was about to say something, anything to save what was left of his ego, but he couldn't form words around the lump in his throat.

"No." Neji deadpanned, still frowning at Naruto.

"You don't even know what I'm going to ask you yet!"

"You are not dumping one of Sasuke's crazy 'friends' on me again."

"He's a friend of _mine_. He's here for a job interview, but the moron doesn't have a suit."

"Hey!" Naruto said, indignantly. "I do have a suit. I just didn't bring it with me."

Neji rolled his eyes. "Typical."

Naruto glared, deciding he didn't like the snobby stud. He was going to say something else, but Sakura shoved a suit in his arms and pushed him behind a changing screen.

"Change! Now! If you take longer than five minutes I'll personally kick you back to America."

"Uh, Australia, you mean." Naruto corrected bravely. The glare she gave him caused him to break his old record. He had never thought he was capable of dressing himself within 30 seconds.

"Leave the tie." Sakura huffed, stress and worry evident on her face. "Open up the first three buttons. Push the collars up a little. Straighten the hem of your pants. Leave the blazer open. Don-"

"Sakura." Neji interrupted firmly as Naruto began to back away.

"Huh? Oh! Sorry, Naruto. It's just that-" A beeping noise echoed through the room. Sakura distractedly pulled out her cell, "-she's here!"

Neji choked on his tongue. "What?!" He immediately shot up from his comfy chair and started to clean up his desk a bit. "You need to go."

Sakura motioned at Naruto to follow her. "Thanks for the suit, Neji. You're a doll."

Neji glared in goodbye before slamming the door closed.

000

Naruto allowed Sakura to drag him through several more corridors. As he tried to keep up with the girl's pace, which had increased tenfold, he caught glimpses of the men and women nearly breaking their necks trying to apply last minute details to their makeup and hair – the same men and women who seemed so untouchable a few minutes ago.

It didn't take long before he discovered that their nervousness was contagious.

Naruto couldn't remember the last time he had fidgeted on a job interview. He was confident by nature and he firmly believed he had reasons to be. He was good at what he did. There was no reason to freak.

Unfortunately, Sakura did not share his thoughts.

"Oh god, your hair's a mess. And your nails look horrible. And, dear god, did you even _shave_."

Naruto felt like the very meaning of confidence was fading from his world with every passing second. He was so busy trying to calm himself down that he hadn't even noticed they had stopped walking. "She's not really going to notice all these things is she?"

"Are you _kidding_ me? She has like x-ray, magnifying and ultra violet vision all in one! Plus dozens of other superhuman abilities which she loves to use against people to ruin their lives and unnecessarily prove she is superior."

Naruto blanched. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

"Oh no, you're not. You are not running away now. Not now that my head is on the line too."

"But I'm getting kinda scared here."

"Yes, well, you have reasons to be." Sakura said unhelpfully, pushing Naruto into a chair.

Naruto was about to retort when the doors slammed open making both Sakura and himself jump out of their seats.

"Sasuke! So glad you could make it. This is Uzumaki Naruto, the one I've been telling you about." Sakura said in one breath.

Naruto stood paralyzed as he studied the woman in front of him.

She was tall and slender with killer legs. She'd wrapped her slim self in a tight lace dress. Her platinum blond hair was in a high ponytail and her icy-blue eyes were framed by impossibly straight bangs.

Her modern style looked out of place in the room that had been made to look like a traditional Japanese tea house. And, as beautiful as she was, she wasn't was he had been expecting.

"Ino?" Sakura gawked incredulously. "What are you doing here? Where is Sasuke?"

"Sakura, nice to see you!" She said flamboyantly, flashing a pearly white grin. "She decided to stop by Neji's first. See how his project's going and stuff."

"So you're not..." Naruto slumped back into his chair with a heavy sigh of relief. "Nearly gave me a heartattack." He choked out.

"Uh, hello?" Ino said, staring at Naruto. "Who're you?"

"Ino, this is Naruto. He's here for a job interview." Sakura said tiredly. "Naruto, this is Ino. She's a model."

"_Super_model." Ino corrected with a proud smile. "Sasuke-hime _adored_ my last photoshoots for Jean Paul Gaultier. She even gave me this vintage Givenchy dress. Isn't it gorgeous?"

She twirled around, showing off the back of the dress.

Naruto frowned. Sean Paul Who? Shevan-what? He turned to Sakura, but she started hyperventilating at the sight of Ino's shoes.

"Are..." She swallowed thickly. "Are those... Liam Fahy..."

"I know!" Ino shrieked. "Isn't it amazing! I was wondering when you'd notice. And your dress?" Ino asked in a poor attempt to give Sakura some spotlight.

"Huh? Oh, it's just an old Michael Kors."

"I like it." Ino replied with a smile.

As soon as that left her mouth the door opened. Ino shot up from where she wanted to sit down, standing ramrod straight. Sakura nearly dislocated Naruto's arm with the force she'd used to hoist him out of his chair.

Naruto fought the urge to pat down his suit and run his hand through his hair to make it a little more presentable, knowing he'd just get caught in the act, and beating himself for making such a big deal out of it.

But then he caught sight of the person standing in the doorway and he immediately understood everything.

"Sasuke-hime." Sakura squeaked. "So nice of you to come. This is Naruto."

There was an animal native in Central Asia. It's beauty has made it the victim of mankind who hunted it for its coat. _Panthera Uncia_ is endangered like many big cats. They're known for being extremely secretive. Never had there ever been an animal that had struck him dumb with its sheer beauty until Naruto discovered the existence of the snow leopard.

Uchiha Sasuke was a snow leopard.


	3. Chapter 3

Name – Drop Dead, Gorgeous

Genre – Romance/Humor

Warnings – Bi, Yaoi, Het, Fem-Sasu, Swearing

Style – AU

Main Pairing(s) – ItaNaruSasu

Summary – Naruto, who lost almost everything after a nasty rumor, travels to Japan to meet up with a penpal who secures a job for him at the Uchiha House of Fashion.

_Authoress's Notes - _I just wanted to clear a few things up. A reviewer, who was the first to review my fic (thank you so much - I didn't mention your name because I didn't know if you would like that), mentioned how similar it is to _Devil Wears Prada_ and she was a bit bothered by it. I understand completely. The truth is, it was partially inspired by both the movie and the book as well as _Memoirs of a Geisha_. Despite that it bothered her, she said she would continue reading it which I am grateful for. Because the main plot is nothing like either _Devil Wears Prada_ or _Memoirs of a Geisha_. For the people who are reading this story who have similar thoughts, I implore you to wait and you will see.

I would be more than happy to answer any other question or clear up any confusion. Feedback and constructive cristism is always welcome so don't be shy.

000

Naruto tried not to choke on his tongue when Sakura pulled on his sleeve, urging him to say something.

"Hi." He managed to say. He felt his whole face go numb as an uncomfortable heat spread across his cheeks. His brain was doing funny flipflops as it tried to process the knowledge of Sasuke being the most stunning creature he'd ever seen.

She was wearing a little white dress. He could hear Sakura breathing out the name of the designer (Stella McCartney). From each ear hung a white-gold dangle earring with two or three discreet diamonds. Her shoes couldn't be seen because, unlike Ino, she wasn't showing off her outfit. Her long, straight black hair cascaded down her back and her equally black eyes were framed by sinfully long lashes. And, as far as he could tell, she wasn't wearing any makeup. She looked impossibly exotic.

She was tiny compared to the model she was standing next to – the tip of her head barely reached Ino's shoulder and her hand, which had reached for Ino's wrist, seemed almost child-like compared to hers – but she was in no way petite. Her body was shaped like an hourglass which the dress exaggerated and every gram of fat on her body was in the exact right place.

Naruto tore his eyes away from her cleavage when he realized what he was doing and was surpised to find himself the center of attention.

She was staring at him. They all were. Almost as if they were analyzing his reaction to Sasuke's presence. It made him even more embarassed because he knew he was blushing. He found it sort of cruel as well.

He wasn't a monkey in a cage.

Then Sasuke smiled and Naruto's heart caught fire. It was a small smile, almost shy – shapely lips curving up ever so slightly; the light in those eyes a little brighter than before.

"I was just going to say how I love the color of Sakura's dress." Ino said suddenly with false confidence.

"Persian blue." Sasuke purred, "Not a very good color on you, Samantha."

"Sakura." Naruto corrected before he could stop himself. He nearly swayed when Sasuke's eyes snapped back to him. "H-her name is Sakura."

Sasuke's smile widened. And at that moment he realized that it wasn't a sweet smile at all. Naruto didn't even dare to blink when those eyes roamed across his body, taking in every single detail. Sakura had been right.

Sasuke saw everything. Something about the way she pursed her lips told Naruto she was very much aware of the fact that the suit wasn't his. And once she was finished looking Naruto could safely say he had no idea what confidence was.

"We're done here." Sasuke said abrubtly, smile gone.

Naruto flinched. "But you haven't even interviewed me yet. Are you going to blow me off based on my appearance?"

Naruto knew he was taking a risk saying that, especially after catching the horrified look on Sakura's face. But he had nothing to lose.

"I'm smart and I learn fast. I can be a valuable asset to this company." Naruto added, trying to sound confident and important.

Sasuke lifted an elegant eyebrow. "I don't know if you realize this, but 'this company' deals with the fashion industry. Something, judging by your caveman style, is something you are pathetically unfamiliar with." She looked away, settling her eyes on a gorgeous Japanese vase as if looking at Naruto was boring her. "I can assure you there is an impressive list of people waiting for a job interview who do not only have the correct work ethic to aid this company but a sense of fashion as well."

"I do have a sense of fashion."

"Yet you stand here before me looking much like a chimpanzee would if it ever had the sense to put on a suit."

Naruto gaped at the woman. He bit his lip to prevent himself from throwing back an insult of his own. "Alright." He said, trying not to sound as if admitting that was like being gutted. "But I do have a sense of beauty."

Sasuke's smile returned. She looked amused. "Beauty?"

Naruto nodded. "I'm a-" He stopped and corrected himself. "I used to be a photojournalist. I traveled the world and have seen miraculous things. Up until today I would've never thought that the modern fashion industry had such respect for its history and the different cultures living on our planet. The grand hall was almost like a place of magic. I had half a mind to blow the interview off just to take some snapshots."

Something in Sasuke's eyes changed. Her smile disappeared. For a minute Naruto was afraid he shouldn't have said that last bit. But then Naruto could've sworn she'd just mouthed the word _'magic?'._

Sasuke narrowed her eyes. She nodded towards Ino. "Who made her dress?"

Naruto froze. He looked at the lace. "Uh...Shamonshi?"

Sasuke walked towards one of the paper doors. She slid it back to reveal a breathtaking wedding kimono with gold stitching and embroidery. Naruto stared at it in amazement, his eyes darting enthusiastically from the kimono to the headdress to the painted _geta_ sandals.

Just when he was about to ask if he could photograph it, Sasuke slid the door back even further.

This time it was a maiko's kimono. The fabric's bright colors jumped at him like a technicolored circus. He could instantly remember all the books he'd read about geisha, all the documentaries he'd seen, all the people he'd discussed them with. Every detail igniting within him something powerful.

Without asking for permission, Naruto fished around in his pocket and pulled out his polaroid camera. He kneeled down, no longer aware that there were other people in the room until a small hand with perfectly manicured nails gently lowered the camera away from his face before he could make a snapshot.

Sasuke looked down at him. Her face was expressionless, but there was something in her eyes that made Naruto's mind go blank. "You're hired."

"What?" Naruto couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"I said, you're hired." Sasuke repeated, with a smirk this time.

Naruto stood perplexed as a surprise slowly turned into extreme self-satisfaction. "I won't let you down."

"Hn." Sasuke replied uninterested. "Selena!"

Sakura jumped, "Yes!"

"My outfit?"

"In your office."

"Breakfast?"

"Pouched eggs and-"

"I don't want that."

"But yesterday you said-"

"I won't eat it." Sasuke pressed, glaring at Sakura who flinched. She turned around, distractedly caught Ino by the wrist and moved to open the door. However, before closing it, her eyes landed on Naruto.

Naruto blinked back, his skin itching as the embarassing heat returned. Sasuke titled her head thoughtfully at him. She turned to Ino, who smiled nervously, before abrubtly letting go of her wrist. She left, walking down the corridor like a recently knighted princess, without another word.

When the door closed, Naruto finally felt like he was allowed to breathe again. "That wasn't so bad." He decided with a nod of his head, turning to the two girls. He frowned when he saw the look in their eyes. "Something wrong? I _did_ just get hired, didn't I?"

"Of course you did." Ino snapped. "Congratulations, you bastard!"

Naruto flinched. "Ouch, where did that come from?"

"Stop it, Ino. It's not his fault." Sakura said softly, trying to put her hand on the model's shoulder.

"Not his fault?" Ino shrieked, backing away from her. "_Not his fault?!_ Did you not hear him?"

Naruto turned to Sakura. "What did I do?"

"Don't you even dare act like you don't know, you unbearable _fuck!_" Ino seethed.

Naruto's eyebrows shot up. The model was utterly furious and he had no idea why. Also, Sakura was not doing a very good job at comforting her.

"Just tell me what I did wrong." Naruto tried, though he kept his distance. Past relationships had shown him just how crazy women could get.

"You and your _stupid_ talk about beauty and magic just cost me _EVERYTHING!_" Ino yelled so loudly that even Sakura backed away. She gave Naruto such a nasty look that he was scared she was going to attack him. Instead, she screamed and left, slamming the door shut as she went.

Naruto blinked in shock. "What... just happened?"

"Ino was Sasuke's diamond, Naruto." Sakura said, looking torn.

Naruto stared blankly at her. "She was her _what_?"

"Diamond. Sasuke's diamond." She hissed impatiently.

"I'm not following."

"Sasuke is rarely seen without a diamond. People notice you when you're standing next to Sasuke, Naruto. Success is guaranteed."

"I'm sensing a 'but'."

"Well, of course there is a 'but'. The amount of success depends on how long it took for her to grow bored with you. If you've only managed to entertain her for a day than you're very easily forgotten. What is also possible is for someone more interesting to come along and snatch your future glory right from under your nose." Sakura's eyes never left Naruto's face as she said the last part.

"Wait... what are you saying?"

"Ino was Sasuke's diamond," Sakura repeated slowly, "until you came along. You saw it right. She let go of her wrist. A few more days and she could've actually been a supermodel, but she's no longer interesting to her. You are. If you play this right you could become her new diamond. Got it?"

Naruto nodded.

"You don't, do you?"

Naruto shook his head with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I understand this whole diamond thing. I do. But I don't understand why it's such a big deal."

Sakura smirked tiredly. "Don't worry about it." Her eyes saddened. "It's... not a big deal."

Naruto stared at her. He wanted to ask her, _it's a big deal for _you_ though, isn't it?_ But he didn't. They stood in silence before Sakura's phone rang. Just like in the diner, she began searching frantically in her bag, looking panicked.

"Yes, Sasuke?" She gasped into her phone, "Yes, of course. Naruto is still here. You want me to... uh, now? I-I will."

"What did she want?"

Sakura glanced at her watch. "We have less than two hours to get everything of the list before Sasuke leaves for Kyoto."

"What list?"

Sakura gave him a sarcastic smile, "That's what need to figure out first."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Nope."

"Did she at least say where she left it?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even make one."

Naruto blinked disbelievingly, "Well, call her back and ask her."

Sakura blinked back at him before bursting out laughing. "No, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I'll explain later. C'mon, I bet one of Itachi's assistants or secretaries know what list she's talking about."

"Itachi?"

"Sasuke's older brother. Surely you've heard of him? He's the CEO of UFH. And the heir to Uchiha Corp."

"Nope, doesn't ring a bell. My previous job was centered around animals and nature, not people, especially not-" Naruto froze, "Wait, what? Uchiha Corporation is a _family_ business?"

Sakura smirked, "Now you get it?"

Naruto hadn't heard her. "Do you have any idea how much money they make?"

"Yes."

"And it all goes to _one_ family?"

"Yes. Well, they're more of a clan."

"They don't even have a charity organization, the greedy bastards. They just keep everything for themselves."

Sakura's face went oddly blank at the mention of 'charity organization'. "We should look for the list." She mumbled, changing the subject and walking out of the room.

000

Naruto dragged himself up the stairs while wondering why the elevators in apartment complexes never seemed to work. He counted himself lucky for living on the second floor, but that didn't stop him from complaining about the building's maintenance.

"Seriously, what if I were in a wheelchair? How would I get up?"

"You wouldn't. And you should be happy that you aren't."

Naruto blinked at the man.

"So you're the hot neighbor man that Haku told me about. Silly thing was going on and on about you. But you _are_ my type."

Naruto choked. "_Excuse_ me?"

The man smiled. "My name's Sai. I'm gay. I think you're cute."

Naruto stared at him. "I'm Naruto. I'm straight and I _know_ I'm cute."

Sai laughed. "I bet you do. So why the gloomy face?"

"I'm not gloomy. I'm tired. I had a trying day, running all over the place looking for some damn list and after we finally found everything on she didn't even need half of it, and I still need to buy a suit."

"A suit?" Sai's eyes lit up. He gave Naruto a not-so-subtle lookover. "Don't move."

Naruto frowned as Sai went back inside his apartment, but didn't close the door. A loud crash made him flinch. "Are you okay?"

"Fine!"

Naruto stood awkwardly in the hallway, wondering whether this was some sort of weird pick-up trick. "I don't have time for this." He muttered and grabbed his keys from out of his pocket.

"Wait! Didn't I tell you not to move!" Sai yelled, bursting out of his apartment. "See! I found it!"

Naruto gaped at the glossy dark grey suit in Sai's hands. "Whoa..."

Sai giggled. "I know! It's gorgeous, isn't it? It'll look amazing on you."

"You're giving it to me? Just like that?"

"Of course not!" Sai exclaimed, clutching the suit to his chest as if Naruto was about to steal it from him. "I want you to be my model and my muse. Then I'll give it to you."

Naruto stared at him. "Huh?"

Sai rolled his eyes. "I'm not asking you to sleep with me, genius. I'm a fashion designer. I need inspiration. In exchange for inspiration you can have the suit."

Naruto was still suspicious, "And how exactly will I be giving you inspiration?"

"Haku said you were a photojournalist so you must travel a lot, right?" Sai gave him a look. "Unless you were lying to impress him."

"I wasn't lying!" Naruto said defensively. "Wait.. did you say 'him'? That cute little Asian princess was a dude?"

"Yep." Sai replied cheerfully. "And taken. And I'm _so_ telling him you said that."

Naruto snorted. "So he's going to sic his girly boyfriend on me or something? Besides, he flirted with me too." Sai hummed. He took out his phone, searched through it for a while before shoving the screen in Naruto's face. "Who's that?"

"The girly boyfriend."

Naruto's face fell. "Holy shit! He looks like he could take on a silverback gorilla!"

"He probably could." Sai agreed. "So you were telling the truth when you said you're a photojournalist?"

Naruto flinched. "Sort of. I'm not anymore, I guess."

"You guess?" Sai repeated, "Well, whatever. Do you want the suit or not?"

"Yes!"

"So you'll be my muse?"

"Sure."

"And my model?"

"...Fine."

"Great. Try it on." Sai shoved the suit into Naruto's arms and dragged him into his apartment. "There's a changing screen in here somewhere."

Naruto gaped at the mess. Mannequins, rollf of fabric and half-sewn clothes were everywhere. The walls were covered in photographs and sketches. Behind the couch was a massive poster of a very flamboyant blond, sighed _Betsey Johnson_. The rest of the wall was covered in pictures of famous models, including some Victoria Secret angels that Naruto recognized and oggled shamelessly. But he also found himself staring at some of the male models. One in particular, a Frenchman named Gaspard Ulliel.

"Aha, found it! There's a hole, but I won't see a thing as long as you stay clear of it."

Naruto tore his eyes away from the 'model wall'. "Can't I just use the bathroom?"

Sai gave him a look. "After seeing the state of my living room?"

"Good point."


	4. Chapter 4

Name – Drop Dead, Gorgeous

Genre – Romance/Humor

Warnings – Bi, Yaoi, Het, Fem-Sasu, Swearing

Style – AU

Main Pairing(s) – ItaNaruSasu

Summary – Naruto, who lost almost everything after a nasty rumor, travels to Japan to meet up with a penpal who secures a job for him at the Uchiha House of Fashion.

A big _thank you_ to everyone who reviewed. Feedback and constructive cristism is always welcome so don't be shy.

000

"You look like hell just spat you out." Sakura said to him.

"Same to you." Naruto grumbled even though it was a lie. Sakura was wearing dark skinny jeans, knee-high boots, a white blouse and a black blazer. Her pastel pink hair was in a bun and she had very little makeup on. She looked a bit tired, but very pretty nonetheless. "I bumped into my neighbor. He's a gay fashion designer. He gave me this really hot suit. When he found out I got a job at Uchiha House of Fashion he went berserk. He used fancy alcohol to bribe me into telling him stuff."

"So now you have a hangover the size of Mercury?"

"And now I have a hangover the size of Mercury." Naruto agreed.

"Marvelous." Sakura drawled, shutting the door behind her. "C'mon, let's go."

"I feel like dying." Naruto groaned, shuffling behind her.

"You look like you're dying." Sakura muttered irritably.

"Your hair's a mess." Naruto countered in annoyance.

"So is yours." Sakura turned around to glare at him. "The suit's nice though."

"Thanks." Naruto tripped into the passenger's seat, fastened his seatbelt and slumped his shoulders. "Revive me when we get there."

"Bastard." Sakura mumbled. "Don't think you can just sleep while I do everything."

Naruto woke up to a sharp pinch in his neck. He lunged forward in shock, hitting his head on the dashboard. "Fuck, now I have a hangover _and_ a headache."

"I don't care." Sakura hissed. "C'mon."

Naruto pushed himself out of the car and allowed Sakura to drag him through the Uchiha House of Fashion. Although he tried to look around his vision was too blurry to really see anything so he just gave up. After a while he wondered whether it was possible to fall asleep while walking and almost collided with his guide.

Sakura took a deep breath, "Alright, this door leads to Sasuke's office. She's waiting on us."

"Uh-uh."

Sakura glared at him, "This is important, Naruto. You need to listen very carefully to what Sasuke's says. She's very vague and never repeats herself."

Naruto frowned at her. "I think I can handle a few errands, Sakura. I did fine yesterday, didn't I?"

She stared at him for a long time, looking as if she wanted to say something else but decided against it. Instead, she opened the door to Sasuke's office, forcing a big smile on her face. "Good morning, Sasuke."

Naruto forced his eyes as wide-open as he could. "Good morning." He said, trying to sound energetic and awake and not like he was falling apart.

Sasuke frowned at him from behind her desk, looking as gorgeous as he remembered. "Have you been smoking something?"

Her hair was sleeked back in a perfect updo – not a single hair seemed to be were it shouldn't. She was rocking a strapless mini dress the color of desert sand and a pair of nude colored heels. The rest was decorated with gemstones.

Naruto's brain didn't know what to tackle first – the fact that the youngest member of a multi-billion dollar company had just asked if he was high or the sheer money that must've been invested in a single outfit.

Sasuke quickly realized that he was staring at her diamond-covered wrist. "Do you know how much suffering just one of these little stones have caused in the world?"

Sakura froze and tensed. But Naruto sobered up immediately. "The blood diamonds of Africa."

"Sierra Leone is a beautiful country, but the people are being torn apart by poverty, civil war and corrupt government officials. These beautiful gemstones have been used to fund rebel causes who do as much damage to their country as the people they're opposing."

_Yet you wear them_, Naruto wanted to say.

"My brother bought me this bracelet." Sasuke continued, fingering the bracelet. "I told him that every time I wear this bracelet I want him to sent the exact cost of it to a mining village in Africa. But do you know what happens to that money?"

Naruto clenched his fists. "It gets taken away."

Sasuke nodded. "The people working back-breaking hours day after day never see a penny of it. After a year I realized that all I was doing was sponsoring those I wish to stop."

"What does it stand for now?"

"A reminder. A memory. A quest." Sasuke looked at him. For a second Sasuke's cold expression turned almost loving. "Do you love Africa?"

"Yes." Naruto breathed. Maybe they were more alike than he thought? Maybe they would get along after all.

"I'm hungry." She said abrubtly, cutting of their conversation as if it never happened. The gentle tone in her voice was gone.

Sakura jumped forward. "Yes, of course. Should it be the usual-"

"No." Sasuke interrupted. She crossed her shapely legs and Naruto couldn't help but look. "Natsu!"

"My name is Naruto."

Sasuke rolled her eyes at him as she stood up and put on a pair of designer sunglasses. "Fetch my things."

Naruto blinked. Things? Where?

Sakura elbowed him in the side, nodding towards a large oak wardrobe. He stumbled towards the wardrobe, insanely aware of the fact that Sasuke was tapping her foot impatiently. When he opened it, he was temporarily struck dumb. Every inch of the inside was packed with coats, bags and accessories of all shapes and colors known to man. He had no idea which one to take out.

He grabbed a deep blue velvet pea coat with black lacquer fastenings and a thea-colored messenger bag with silver buckles. He held them out to Sasuke uncertainly.

"I thought you knew beauty?"

Naruto tensed. He didn't want to fight. He didn't want any drama so early in the morning while he was nursing a hangover. "They are pretty."

Sasuke glowered. "But they're not pretty together, are they? Sachiko!"

Sakura rushed to the wardrobe and within two seconds flat, she pulled out a vanilla-colored belted cape coat lined with wool and a mocca satchel bag.

Sasuke accepted the coat, but snorted at the sight of the bag, "What is that?"

Sakura's face fell. "It's – well, it was a gift from Marc Jacobs."

"It's disgusting." Sasuke rolled her eyes and muttered something about incompetence, before walking to the wardrobe herself and picking a light salmon Fendi bag. Funnily enough, the colors of Sasuke's outfit reminded him of the sun setting in a desert in Marokko. He wondered if it was intentional.

"Itachi and I have lunch with our father. When I come back I need a new outfit. I want that dress from Roberto and I need to speak with Karl and Calvin. Also, contact that new designer from Gucci for me. I need a new outfit for the opening of our new hotel. I want it custom made by that Japanese designer who had that ice queen dress in his show a few months back."

Naruto tried not to gape at her, but he couldn't stop his eyes from widening. Sakura hadn't been joking. It didn't help that she had said it all very fast, not bothering to stop and see if they had heard or understood. He wondered if she was being vague on purpose. But before he could ask for more details, the door opened and a man walked in.

It couldn't have been more obvious that he was related to Sasuke.

Like Sasuke, he was absolutely, flawlessly gorgous. Even the slight bags under his eyes did nothing, in fact, they seemed to add a certain charm. He had long hair, not as long as Neji's, but much darker. His eyes, though darker than the night, seemed shine red in the sunlight and they were looking right at him. Gaspard Ulliel, the male model on Sai's wall, had nothing on him. And the custom-designed Armani suit he was wearing made Naruto's hand-stitched one seem like a tacky table cloth.

Another snow leopard. No, a black panther this time. A jaguar, _Panthera Onca_, with a melanistic coat. An apex predator with an extremely powerful bite that can tear through the defenses of armoured reptiles and deliver a fatal blow by crushing the skull and piercing the brain.

"Father's waiting, Sasuke." He drawled, "New assistant?"

"Yes." Sasuke answered, ignoring his first statement. "Itachi, this is Uzari Nat-something."

"Naruto." Naruto corrected, his voice breaking slightly. He cleared his throat hurriedly, "Uzumaki Naruto. It's a pleasure."

He was so intimidated by the sheer beauty of the two in front of him that he couldn't even bring himself to get upset over the fact that Sasuke got his name wrong _again._ (He swore she did that intentionally). Both Sasuke and Itachi stared at him, looking severely unimpressed. Naruto blushed. He couldn't meet their gaze and settled his eyes on Itachi's highly polished shoes.

"He's male." Itachi said, narrowing his eyes at him.

For a split second, Naruto saw a something rather like defiance flash in Sasuke's eyes, "He has potential." She responded cattily, "Are we leaving or not?"

Itachi glanced at Sasuke, who folded her arms stubbornly. He grabbed her hand rather forcibly and neither appeared remotely happy when they left to meet with their father.

"He's Uchiha Itachi?" Naruto asked, the second he heard the door close.

"Yes." Sakura sighed tiredly, "He's Uchiha Itachi, firstborn of Uchiha Fugaku, CEO of the Uchiha House of Fashion, heir of Uchiha Corp, the most gorgeous man I've ever seen and a bully just like his precious little sister."

Naruto raised his eyebrows, "Is it an Uchiha thing or what?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if it were in their DNA. Their father is the devil himself." Sakura rubbed her temples, "Now, Sasuke wanted a new outfit when she comes back from lunch. Did she say when they'll be back?"

"No."

"Okay, you contact Roberto Cavalli and ask them if Sasuke's recently shown interest in one of their dresses or collections. I'll try to figure out the rest."

Naruto nodded. His headache had gotten worse. He couldn't even appreciate the comfortable, exotic beauty of Sasuke's office even when he realized the persian rug was not only authentic, but vintage. Very old and very valuable. He sat down behind his desk, surprised that their working place was in Sasuke's office.

"Sasuke likes old things, doesn't she? She likes vintage and historic things, right?" Naruto asked as he waited for his computer to turn on, but Sakura hushed him.

"Hello, it's Sakura. Please tell Mr. Lagerfeld that Sasuke wants to speak with him. Thank you." She hung up and glared at Naruto, "What are you waiting for? There's a list of people and their phone numbers on your desk."

Naruto frowned. He grabbed a handsome pleather notebook and searched up the number. He dialed and waited, overhearing Sakura politely talking to the secretary of Calvin Klein. A female voice answered his call.

_"Roberto Cavalli's office. How may I be of assistance?_"

"Uh, hello. My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I work for Uchiha Sasuke. This might sound odd, but has my boss recently showed any interest in one of Cavalli's designs?"

_"Not that I know of. I'll ask him. Should I call you back?"_

"Yes. Thank you."

"And?" Sakura asked distractedly.

"She said she'd call back when she asked him."

"Call again. Ask if you can speak to him personally."

Naruto sighed, but did as he was told. "Uh, hi, it's me again. Uzumaki Naruto? Yes – what? Oh, you were about to call? And? No such luck, huh? Thanks anyway."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Fuck." Sakura fidgeted, "I'll fix it. Don't worry. You do some research on Japanese designers, find out which one made that 'ice queen dress'."

Two hours passed and Naruto was beginning to get his confidence back. He had not only found out which designer made the 'ice queen' dress, he had also managed to find the Gucci designer Sasuke wanted to contact when Sakura couldn't. He was about to take a break and get something to eat when Sasuke returned from her lunch. She stormed into the office, slamming her coat and her bag on his desk, knocking over the lamp and sent Sakura a scalding glare when she asked how it had been.

"Where's my dress?" She snapped.

Naruto stepped forward, feeling confident despite the fact that they, indeed, hadn't gotten her dress in time. "Well, I contacted Roberto Cavalli-"

"Cavalli? I said Roberto Menichetti!"

Naruto stared disbelievingly at her. "No, you didn't."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously, "What did you say?"

Naruto glared back, feeling himself getting angry. Who did this woman think she was? He wasn't her slave. He had done a fantastic job considering how little information she had given them. But then he saw something that wasn't quite right and he found himself losing steam. Sasuke was breathing heavily, almost shaking. Her hands were wrapped around her body as if she was trying to shield herself from something.

"Are you okay?"

Sasuke looked like he had slapped her or insulted her greatly. For a moment, he thought she was going to fire him or worse. "Get me my dress." She whispered, looking angrier than ever, "You have one hour." With that she walked out of the office.

"What were you thinking asking her that?" Sakura breathed out shakily once the door was closed and Sasuke was out of earshot.

"She looked like she was about to cry." Naruto responded. "I'm weak against that. Can't stand it if a woman cries. Even a bitch like her."

"She's a bitch for a reason, Naruto." Sakura said softly, but she immediately looked like she regretted saying it.

"Why do you say that?"

Sakura looked torn. "I told you, didn't I? Uchiha Fugaku, her father, is the devil himself."

Naruto waited expectantly for her to say more, but she didn't. "So?"

"I really shouldn't be talking about this."

Naruto straightened soberly. "Why? What's going on?"

Sakura looked like she was about to cry herself, "I _really_ shouldn't be talking about this." She repeated.

Naruto frowned. "But-"

"It's none of your business, Naruto. Just leave it. Besides we need to find this dress she's talking about."

"I'm worried." Naruto pushed, not flinching at the warning tone of her voice.

"Sasuke's a big girl. She can take care of it."

"I'm worried about _you_, Sakura."

The look on Sakura's face almost broke his heart. She looked immensely vulnerable. As if she couldn't believe someone cared enough about her to worry. She swallowed hard. "I... I was Sasuke's diamond once, okay. She... she told me _things_."

Naruto's head reeled with the force of his curiosity. "You were her diamond? When? What happened? What _things_?"

"Enough." Sakura's face hardened, "I could lose my job."

Naruto flinched. "Sorry, I'm just-"

"Worried, I know. Promise me something, though." Sakura said, a deep frown marring her tired face, "Promise me that, no matter what happens, no matter what you hear or see, you will stay out of it. Don't get involved and keep it to yourself."

Naruto frowned. "Sure." He said carefully, but he couldn't help but think it an odd request.

Ten minutes later, as he was running to one of the company cars to fetch the dress when they finally found it, he still couldn't stop thinking about it. Had he unconsciously gotten himself mixed up into something dangerous? Was there actually yakuza involved?

He tried to force himself to stop thinking about it. But he couldn't. The journalist in him was pulling at him to figure out what was going on.


End file.
